How to Change the Station and Unlock new Possibilities
By: Melissa Kornhaus
How many truly authentic interactions do you have in the course of a given day? What is authenticity to you?
For me, an authentic interaction is one where the people involved are totally present and connected, listening to each other, being honest and vulnerable. How often do you feel really listened to, and comfortable enough to share the raw truth of your experience?
For most people it’s not often. Here’s why.
Most of us are filled with fear and don’t even realize it. We’re scared of what people will think, that things might not work out like we want them to, terrified of instability or discomfort…
Often times we’re not even consciously aware of these fears. They’re elevator music; a soft, subtle soundtrack playing in the background. But here’s the thing.
The truth is that these fears are silently sabotaging your relationships, your success and your happiness. They’re quietly directing everything you do. Let me give you an example.
I have a friend named Jim. Jim has been married for 24 years. A while back we were having coffee and he was telling me about an argument he and his wife Mary got into the night before.
It began when Mary walked into their bedroom, Jim was laying in bed watching tv. Mary took a look at the television and said, “Why are you watching this, it’s a rerun? You’ve already seen it.”
Now, do you think Mary really wanted to understand why Jim was watching a rerun? Of course not. What she probably wanted to communicate was that she didn’t want to watch what he was watching, or that she wanted Jim to pay attention to her. But she couldn’t say those things. Why?
Because asking Jim to change the channel sounds demanding, and asking him to pay attention to her sounds needy.
Mary learned long ago that she shouldn’t act needy or demanding, so she suppressed the truth of her experience because of the fear associated with being judged. Have you ever done that? And here’s where things get really complicated.
Mary might not have even known the truth! She had practiced that way of being for so long she probably didn’t even know what she was doing.
Can you see how this might be going on in your life? Most of us do it every single day, and it prevents you from being truly happy, connected and fulfilled.
That’s why I created the Get Real mini-workshop, to help people unlock new possibilities and form deeper relationships in their lives through authentic connection. Get Real is a two-hour group experience on authenticity, vulnerability and judgment.
To sign up now, please call (561) 450-6407 or click https://tinyurl.com/yc49rvo4
I crafted Get Real for people who want to cultivate human potential and expand consciousness. The most consistent feedback I get from attendees is how amazing it feels to sit with total strangers, know that you’re not alone AND there’s nothing wrong with you.
That’s the power of being present and connecting with another human being in an authentic way. Yet we withhold this experience from ourselves all the time. Why!?
FEAR. We’re afraid. It’s that simple.
Well I say fuck fear! In fact, I don’t just say it, I yell it from the rooftops! I mean, how would you rather feel… scared and self-conscious OR loved, connected and accepted?
Like anything else this acceptance starts inside you. It has nothing to do with the people around you, your environment or any other external factors. It’s just you.
Imagine being unshaken by negative feedback, comfortable in your own skin, able to share the truth of your experience without fear. All you have to do is change the station on that elevator music. And you’ll learn how at Get Real.
Click https://tinyurl.com/yc49rvo4 to reserve your spot today
In Get Real you’ll discover what it feels like to be deeply secure in who you are. To know that you are good, good enough, whole and infinitely valuable just as you are.
Loving yourself is like keeping your shoes shiny and dry. Dirt slides right off a clean shoe but will stick to a scuffed one or even turn into mud on a wet one.
It’s time to reclaim the power you’ve given away; the power you’ve ceded to others to “do you dirty.” Think about it, how often have you let other people make you feel a particular way?
It’s hysterical when you think about it! We’re all playing the same silly game. We hide behind social soundbites from the weekend, put on shiny facades for each other at work, and talk about the weather while secretly feeling disconnected, disillusioned and judgmental of others.
But check this out. The reality is that this is our own judgment, about ourselves, mirrored back at us. Are you able to see that? The cure is to identify and cultivate your authentic self.
Perhaps your ability to be authentic is a measure of how much you love yourself or how courageous you are. It’s a reflection of your ability to tolerate discomfort and the unknown. These skills are some of the most powerful life tools you can have in your toolbox.
They take away your fear of the unknown, keep you centered when uncomfortable emotions hit, head negative self-talk off at the pass and generate new possibilities in your life.
So what are you waiting for? I invite you to join us tomorrow evening, September 27, 2017 at the Sagely Willow and discover how to remove your mask, step into your truth and create an exciting future filled with happiness and joy. Like anything, it starts with a single step.
Melissa Kornhaus is a clinical therapist and owner of NewVu Therapy in Delray Beach Florida. She lives in Ft. Lauderdale and is dedicated to helping people uncover their authentic selves, deepen their relationships and unlock new possibilities.